This has been a tough day for me for a very long time now. I've never spoken about it before because I didn't want to take away from the happiness of those who get to celebrate their motherhood this time every year. But now I think it is time to come out and say what I have been feeling for so long.
I am really happy for those who have children, really, so don't get me wrong, nor does this stem from jealousy in any form.This is merely a message from me to you, asking you to think before you speak when you are around someone who doesn't have children.
So many times I have had to grin and bear it when someone goes on and on about the joys of motherhood, knowing full well that I am unable (so far) to have any children of my own. I have had to bite my tongue when people ask me, "Don't you just wish you were a mother too?". The answer is simply this, yes I can see that motherhood is a wonderful and enriching experience, and yes, I do wish I were a mother too, that is why I have gone through the last six and a half years feeling more like a pin-cushion than anything else from all the fertility drugs. Also, please remember, though I have no children for you to look at, I am a mother too, my children just never made it into this world, they are all in heaven now.
So have a heart and realise that this can be a very painful day for many women out there who would like nothing better than to be able to celebrate this day just like you do, to be able to hear someone say "Happy Mother's Day", not "oh, but she's not a mother, so you shouldn't wish her a happy mother's day."
I hope this hasn't given offense to anyone, it is just my way of trying to explain how easy it can be to hurt someone in my position or a similar one.
2 comments:
im sorry for the pain you feel. im a mother but i sort of know what your going thru.just a little bit,you see i have a daughter who is turning 1 this month but husband and i have been trying to get pregnant for almost 6 months now. and i feel so depress and so upset everytime i find out im not pregnant. i always say to myself so this is how it feels,i wonder how those women who have been trying to ages to conceive feel.what im feeling cant even compare to the dissapointment,pain and expectation they must be having. I dont know you but im sorry in behalf of the mothers out there who just dont think before speaking.
Thanks for that. The apology is unnecessary though, I know those mothers are never intentionally malicious, they simply don't stop and think....so I was just trying to give a little wakeup call.
I'm sorry that you are having trouble falling pregnant again, and truly hope it happens soon...even secondary infertility is painful, so don't feel guilty about the pain you feel. Good luck!
Post a Comment