Prolactin Levels Up

Well, I went to the RE today for the follow up on the cyst and fresh results on prolactin levels, and excuse me if I say the results were really sh*t!!!!! The cyst is down...by a whole two millimeters, and I will be going on the pill hoping to get rid of it for good, another ultrasound to follow in a month's time.

The prolactin level, however, is of course up again after just two and a half weeks off the bromocriptine!!! The prognosis? I will never be able to fall pregnant without bromocriptine! That sucks, really, really sucks! And for the first time ever, the RE actually asked if I want to keep trying for a baby. In the past he has always been so upbeat about it all, reminding me that I am still very young, which will improve my chances, but this time he was so serious and sad looking that it really depressed me!

I of course, am extremely stubborn, and insisted that I still want to keep trying........so no easy escape for the RE, he will still have to deal with my gigantic load of problems!

How Long is Too Long?

To try to conceive that is! Yes, I do have an idea what you were thinking!!!!! This is a question that I think many infertiles ask themselves, and do they ever find the answer? Rarely!

I think the answer always lies in the infertile herself, no one can answer it for you. It is a deeply personal issue with about a million variables involved.......making it impossible for anyone else to decide what is best for you.

I know I have struggled with that question in the past, and the truth is, I still struggle with it today! My husband and I set some very definite cut-off dates in the beginning.......then we reached them and realised we were not ready to quit just yet, so we set new ones.....and the same situation resulted. Now, we have finally decided to just keep trying until it no longer feels right. That could be never, I don't have the answer now, and I probably won't have it anytime soon either. I just have to do what all infertiles end up doing, go with the flow until your heart or nature tells you to stop! And yes, it will always be hard, the disappointments are never easy to take, but imagine the feeling when you finally have a success!!!!

I think I'm a cynical cow!!!!

Today I came across a letter written by a woman who has been going through the whole infertility thing for about 10 years now, and in it she expressed her feelings of scorn for those who complain after a very short time of trying to conceive. What surprised me....though only slightly....is that I often feel the same way.

I know, I know, infertility is hard, even for the beginners, but it is so hard to feel sorry for someone who has been trying for say, six months, and acts as if the world will come to an end because she is not yet pregnant. Bitchy as it may sound, my immediate thoughts are, "Wow, you've been trying how long? There is no way you could not be preggers yet, not after six whole months.....I am just a mutant 'cause it has taken me six years so far!!!!" Now, I never say those things, I just think them. And don't get me wrong, I do feel for those ladies, I was there once too so I know how it feels, and I hope none of them ends up in my shoes, I just wish they would think before acting like real IF veterans after such a short time!!!!

Believe me, six years is vastly different to six months, and it would be nice if people would realise that. Yes, any form of infertility is hard to deal with and creates some serious emotional tension, but please, don't be a drama queen after a few short months!!!

And, although I'm a cow, I do possess some tender feelings, so I hope all of you who are starting out in the IF world never have to go as far as I have gone. I hope you all have beautiful babies to take home in the shortest time possible. Good Luck!

Doctors' Mistakes

I get so angry when I think of all the problems that could be avoided if only doctors would be thorough when testing patients for problems. This is especially true right now for many infertiles, who often go through years of expensive treatments to try to conceive, only to be told that they had been misdiagnosed in the beginning anyway and their infertility is actually caused by something else.

I don't think the doctors realise how traumatic infertility can be for a person, so traumatic that the last thing they need is to be told that all the treatments they have had were wrong, and they now need to start again with the opposite approach. Would it hurt so much to be thorough the first time around? Is it so hard to order tests for any problem that seems at all possible? Can they not double check their findings and test again if necessary? 

I know that doctors are human too, and that they make mistakes, but some mistakes can be avoided by proper proceedure and follow-through!!!!